An Insignificant Blog

and in the morning i'll be with you, but it will be a different kind

2012-02-17T09:11:00.000-08:00

Right. Second semester.
Hectic.
Exciting.
Saddening.
Stressful.
Surprising, to say the least.

And I don't know how much more I can emphasize on how much I loathe group works.
I mean, I'm okay with my group mates, don't get me wrong - but it's hard to find the time to sit down and have table talks when everyone is having different schedules. Curse you ADP.
ALL. DAY. PRESSURE.

The class I probably enjoy most at the moment is my PR class. Hey, I might be a rookie, or the baby in the class (as some put it), but I'm getting along pretty well. I don't have much friends in that class and I'm always alone, but whatever.
The assignments given in this class will definitely keep me busy.
It'll put me to the test of course, but I always seem to smile at the thought of being preoccupied.

Doesn't give me much room to think about other things. Ones not worth thinking about.

***

skinny love adj.
Love that's too skinny to survive. It's not properly fleshed out, and is doomed to failure.

Still I don't know why I'm holding on.

dazed

2012-02-10T22:37:00.000-08:00

An Indie Affair from ThePartyScene on 8tracks.

Guilty as charged.
You don't have to smoke pot to get high.

visualize

2012-01-29T09:44:00.000-08:00

the future.

Today's the last day before studying life resumes.
I think I can safely say that I'm stable at the moment; mentally, physically and spiritually.
Pray that this is going to be a good semester for me, for us all.

I don't know about you, but I'll make it.
You just watch.

true story, bro

2012-01-27T09:17:00.001-08:00

a phoenix, rising up from the ashes

2012-01-26T08:39:00.000-08:00

What was I thinking? Punishing myself and being so sad over something, ANYTHING, when I've got tons to be happy about?
This always happens to me. When you're just too caught up, you tend to forget what's important.

It's alright. If we didn't make any mistakes, how would we learn right?

I am done with that shit.
I am strong.
I am beautiful.
I am loved.
And I have You, Allah.

Sayonara, alter ego. I won't miss you.

au revoir

2012-01-21T11:40:00.000-08:00

Who knew I got so much anger in me?
All it takes for a nasty blow up to happen is a girl and her monthly menstrual cycle which comes in a package of hormonal imbalance + stupidity + cooped up emotions and a whole lot of crap that can lead to her not thinking straight. And wisely, if I might add.

It's 3.29 AM right now and we're leaving for the airport at 4.45.

I don't even know why I'm not asleep. There are two major reasons why I should not leave sleep.
Major reason A) I'll be left with my thoughts and I'll play through all the "what-if's" scenarios in my head and go loco all by myself. *cue music* all by myseeellffff... don't wanna be all by myseeelfff anymoreeee
Major reason B) I'll get hungry.

Speak of the devil. My tummy just growled.

At the moment, I'm emotionally unstable. I'm a hopeless wreck. But I do hold up pretty good most of the time I even impress myself. Hey, guess I am cut out for theater.
When all I want is just my bunny...
But what do I get?

May this trip help me find inner-peace, restore my chi and ignite my strength for what's to come. Especially uni (which is resuming in one week's time).

This trip might be exactly what I need right now.

Isolation.

perfect

2012-01-19T00:06:00.000-08:00

the h.m.'s

2012-01-13T23:33:00.000-08:00

Can't really say that it's never been tough with you.
But we've been together through thick and thin.
Here's to another year and still, forever to go.

if my mind was the sky, the stars would be my thoughts

2012-01-10T07:24:00.000-08:00

I know it's too early for me to think about these things.
But replaying the things we did on "my day" in my head over and over again,
I can't help but wonder,

if it meant something to you?

on my list

2012-01-09T21:46:00.000-08:00

of movie must watch for this year.

Seems a bit familiar, to us all. No?

if we loved each other a little bit less

2012-01-06T23:54:00.000-08:00

This could just be the answer to why some relationships don't work. A translation from a croatian song.

If we loved each other a little bit less,

we might have even stayed a we,

possibly could have made a better we.

If we loved each other a little bit less,

we might have even liked each other.

If we loved each other from a healthy distance,

we probably wouldn’t care as much about the little things.

If we loved each other a little bit less,

we might have even stayed a we.

If we loved each other more rationally,

if we didn’t wear our hearts on our sleeves,

if all we did was simply love.

If we loved each other a bit less fatally,

if we could have focused less on dreams,

if all we did was love.

If we loved each other a little bit less,

we might have even stayed a we,

though a different we.

If we loved each other a little bit less,

we might have even liked each other.

We shouldn’t have tried so hard to please one another,

in the labyrinth of hopes and desires.

If we loved each other a little bit less,

we might have even stayed a we.

Overthinking can ruin things sometimes. Don't live in your fears, live in the moment instead. So that maybe, just maybe, you and your lover can stay a we for a long time.

she spoke words of wisdom

2012-01-06T00:28:00.000-08:00

2011. As I reflect upon the events that I've ventured throughout that year, I realized that I've grown a lot.
Rejection, failure, starting over... Everything made me even stronger. The mistakes I've committed. No regrets, keep making them, for you'll never learn if you never try.

Here's a list of what has happened to me last year:

Started off the year by getting four stitches on me right knee. Aye, I'm clumsy and unfortunately, very fragile despite my tough exterior.
Lived in Brunei with Dad for a month. Not the best time of life, but it was nice living with him again (for a long time that is).
Got my first ever job which is a sales coordinator (a.k.a. a salesgirl) at Dorothy Perkins. Gained a lot of experience and met every possible type of shopper there is. Also encountered a few weird shebangs while I was working. Epic troll moments.
Entered uni-life. Boy, what an adventure.
Had a few prayers answered by God. Alhamdulillah, forever thankful.
Met a lot of new people. Everyone of them is a miracle.
Reinforced my 11-year-old bond with Saskia. Going on 12, and forever to go!
Mastered a new skill before the year ended. I NOW KNOW HOW TO ICE SKATE.

Lots of things happened. Had a couple of confessions. Had a lot of confusions. Had a lot of lost moments.
But regardless of all the adverse eventualities, the beautiful memories are too sweet and significant that they outweigh the bad ones. Not the most suckiest year I've had in the 18 years I've lived. Hm.

I don't really have a lot of new year's resolution because I always end up not doing them.

All I want to do, is improve in every aspect. And...

continue to be cute. Meow.

sekadar mengongsi

2011-12-30T05:21:00.000-08:00

Masih ingat kiamat 2012? JANGAN PERCAYA DULU. Akan tetapi, kiamat menurut Agama Islam : Kemunculan Imam Mahdi - Kemunculan Dajjal - Keturunan Hazrat Isa (AS) - Kemunculan Yajooj dan Majooj - Terbitnya matahari dari Barat ke Timur - Pintu pengampunan akan ditutup - Dab'bat al-Ard akan keluar dari tanah dan akan menandai muslim yang sebenar-benarnya - Kabut selama 40 hari akan mematikan semua orang beriman sejati sehingga mereka tidak perlu mengalami tanda-tanda kiamat yang lainnya - Sebuah kebakaran besar akan menyebabkan kerosakan; Pemusnahan Kaabah, tulisan dalam al-Quran akan lenyap, sangkakala akan ditiup pertama kalinya binatang-binatang dan orang-orang kafir yang tersisa akan mati, semua gunung dan bangunan akan runtuh - Tiupan sangkakala yang kedua kalinya akan membangkitkan semua ciptaan Allah dan bertemu dia dataran Arafah menuju saat penghakiman mereka. Dan matahari akan mendekatkan dirinya ke bumi.

Nabi Muhammad SAW telah bersabda;

"Barang siapa yang mengingatkan ini kepada orang lain, akan Ku buatkan tempat syurga baginya pada hari penghakiman kelak."

Kita boleh kirim ribuan mesej mesra, post berjuta-juta post di twitter dan facebook tapi, bila kirim yang berkaitan dengan ibadah, mesti berfikir dua kali.

Allah SWT berfirman;

"Jika engkau lebih mengejar duniawi daripada mengejar dekat denganKu maka Aku berikan, tapi Aku akan menjauhkan kalian dari syurgaKu."

Dan apakah saudara masih berfikir-fikir dua kali untuk menyebarkan mesej ini? Sebarkanlah ia samada melalui facebook mahupun di blog-blog kalian. Copy paste pun tak susah kan?

Assalamualaikum.

welcoming you with open arms

2011-12-29T08:13:00.000-08:00

Twas a good day indeed.

Got to meet my beautiful high school friends; Aliah, Fatin and Aimi.
Saskia got me the book I was searching for like mad. A saint, she is.
Getting a text from that someone was the icing on the cake. Scratch that, that person coming home WAS the icing on the cake.

Alhamdulillah. I'm blessed. Blessed indeed.

sweet like candy

2011-12-24T23:08:00.000-08:00

So we went to a wedding yesterday. Mom and Dad met their uni friends over there and at one point I felt that it was a reunion instead of a wedding. Haha.

They're so blessed that they got to meet over there in the States, fell in love and even got married during their time of stay. Mom was a junior from Iowa State University majoring in architecture and Dad was a senior from Drake pursuing his degree/master in MBA (I think...). They were neighbors and that's how they got to meet each other.

I personally love LOVE these stories. And sitting there, surrounded by Dad's old friends, listening to them reminiscing about the good ol' days was heartwarming. Who knows, I'll get my chance one day eyh?

Dad mentioned a friend. He said that he went to the States on the same day as this guy and on the same plane too. Coincidentally, they boarded the SAME PLANE on the SAME DAY again back home after they both graduated. The cute part is, they went as bachelors, single and ready to mingle. On the way home, both of them each has a wife and a masters in hand. And ironically, the wives are roommates. What a small world.

These are the types of stories for you to tell your kids and grandkids. ♥

kasih sayang

2011-12-23T09:15:00.000-08:00

Everyone has their fair share of experience with love and affection.
Heck, it's what we always think of, yearn for and dream about.
The media has played a big role in portraying pretty images of what love is all about and gave us all hope that Mr. Knight in shining armor will come into our lives magically one day, sweep us off our feet and strode off into the sunset heading for eternal bliss and yes of course, matrimony then live happily ever after.

But what they didn't tell us is the "what ifs".

Say, what if, he's going to leave?

Love. What is love?
Who on Earth can define that word, that's spoken of way too many times in a day. That's totally overrated. That's so addictive.

Well, us humans are sent here just for that. To find one another.
I remember a quote from the movie Aquamarine.
"Love is the closest thing to magic."
And that's why my friends, is why we're all so in love with the idea of love.

I see it everyday. Love is like heroin. On twitter, Tumblr or just talking to my friends.
Why is he doing this to me? Please say hi first. Forever alone. I'm never going to be good enough. Do you think he likes me?

This silly little four lettered word makes us crazy, irrational, obsessive, sad and happy all in the same time. We can't think straight when we're so caught up in it. People say love is like a drug and evidently it lives up to that quote.

My dear sisters,
I'm here to tell you the bitter reality of when our hopes and dreams collide with our expectations.
It's not all rainbows and unicorns when you fall in love. It's euphoric, the feeling you get when it's mutual. But having to fall or have affection for someone takes deep patience. Most of the time, we don't get things our way. Like what we do when we want to achieve something, we usually say our prayers first. It's sort of the same thing with love.
Don't go asking God to let him fall for you or pursue you. That's being selfish.
Why not try asking in a more demure way like "Dear God, I seek for Your guidance. If he is my destiny, then please fasten it and let him come to me. If he is not my destiny, push him away and obscure these feelings from me. If he is not my destiny, I thank You for the period of time that I've gotten to know him and thank You for giving me faith."
Now doesn't that sound a bit nicer? By putting it that way, indirectly it makes you more prepared for the outcome.

The things that love does to us girls. Sigh. To be honest with you, it makes me scared.
One of the many reasons I'm afraid to fall.

For fear, that no one is there to catch me.

one night as a mermaid

2011-12-22T06:13:00.000-08:00

Thought I'd share some pictures from the other night. I had to help a friend out with coordinating her senior prom. It was fun! And who knows, it might just be the beginning to my PR career :p

wave yearn

2011-12-20T08:47:00.000-08:00

The first few scenes of the movie depicted Izzah's life in her hometown, her kampung.
They showed her daily activities; teach children how to read the Qur'an as an ustazah, riding the bike to and fro where she taught and where she resided with her uncle and aunt and also her hardships in taking care of her sick aunt. It's a tough life but that's not what I'm going to talk about here in this post.

What most of you do not know is, I have a want, a yearn, for that simple kampung life.

I'm a city girl. I was born and raised in KL. So you must be thinking, "I don't think she'll survive...".
Oh come on, I've stayed in my kampung where you had to go outside the house in order for you to go to the loo okay. A furnished bathroom with an exceptional built-in drainage system would be fantastic and a plus if you're living in the kampung.

What I love about having to live such a life is getting to wake up and inhale unpolluted fresh air. Walk through paddy fields of vast green that seems to be going on forever. Wear baju kurung everyday. Get a simple job that makes just enough money to support you and your family. Play kites, congkak, hide and seek instead of cooping up in my room going online. Chase chickens and goats around or climb coconut trees. Eat good, simple dishes.
Sigh. The life.
I'll admit that it won't be as easy as it sounds, but I assure you it'll be a content and happy one.

Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm too influenced by the pretty pictures displayed by the media. I don't know.
I hope I'll marry a guy who has a kampung. HARHAR.

imy. january, promise♥

Dearly Departed by DeVotchKa

2011-12-18T08:52:00.000-08:00

Sweetheart
How I miss your heart
Beating next to mine

The right words
Were always hard to find
When all our time was fine
When darling you were mine, all mine

And I know, I know you had no choice
But how I miss your voice
Singing right with mine

Flesh of my flesh
Soul of my soul
I come back home

All this darkness, cannot hurt us
Cause they made you from the light
Here on birthplace, don't be nervous
You will make it through, this night

Sweetheart
How I miss your heart
Beating next to mine

Flesh of my flesh
Soul of my soul
I come back home

do you listen to wizard wrock?

2011-12-16T02:21:00.000-08:00

I ~~WANT~~ NEED A KEEP CALM AND ... SHIRT.
Preferably one related to Harry Potter or Star Wars. Geheh.

ISN'T IT AWESOME??

heaven is a place on earth with you

2011-12-13T08:06:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, December 13th 2011

Chemistry 101's final exam marks the end of the Fall semester. My first ever semester.
I came in, not knowing what to expect. Half scared. Half excited. And a whole lot of ambiguous emotions.
Hundreds of strangers; unknown faces. Later on, feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the new things and the new procedures and worst of all, doing things all on yourself. Having to fend for yourself is quite the challenge, coming from a government school where mostly everything was spoonfed or served on a silver platter (well not exactly, I might be exaggerating a tad bit but everything was much more simpler back then).

Reality hit me, and it hit me hard. Right in the gut.
It was time to grow up. It was finally time to be adults.

So I did what I had to do, put on an armor and journey my way into adulthood. Hoho.
You would think that college-life is more laidback, where there are less subjects and you have more time to yourself... WELL THINK AGAIN.

Praises to the Almighty, alhamdulillah I survived!
Strangers have become close acquaintances. Lecturers began to notice me (cannot. hide.). I slowly began to feel some sense of belonging there when I'm with my friends. And then gradually developed a daily routine starting with spending my mornings with my beloved Blair (you better love me for doing this).
Mmm indeed, college-life is tougher. But it's not so bad when you've got your friends suffering along with you. Haha.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY.
Am now on holidays till the 30th of January!

WOOOOOO

To do list:

Read some books
LOTR marathon
Start going to the gym again
Update iPod playlist
Take time for myself and catch up on Z's

That's it so far. There's a lot more stuffs to do like cleaning my room but I'll save that for later I'M ON HOLIDAY SUCKAS.

princesses aren't perfect either

2011-12-12T08:59:00.000-08:00

Just something I came across Tumblr. Thought I'd share it with you.

Why was Snow White given a poisoned apple?

-To show us that not everyone is gonna be kind & not everyone is really who they say they are.

Why did Cinderella run away at midnight?

- To remind us that everything does have its limitations, even dreams.

Why did Ariel exchange her fins for feet?

- To show us that people are willing to give up anything to be with who they love & to just be happy.

Why did Aurora sleep for 100 years?

- To tell us that you might have to wait for quite some time for your true love to come along, sometimes very long, but it’s worth it.

Why did Princess Jasmine fall for Aladdin?

- To let us know that what the heart wants, it wants it no matter what.

Why was Belle in love with a Beast?

- To remind us that you can’t really help what’s on the outside, but if the inside is beautiful, then nothing will stand in the way of your love.

all day play

2011-12-10T21:59:00.000-08:00

Very, very lucky indeed. To have this set of friends.
Not forgetting Maria, Farah, Glow, Missy and Auffique OH AND SHAHIR.
Uni life has been treating me well actually.
And that one Mr. :)

ping

2011-12-09T01:45:00.000-08:00

This actually silenced me.
Did it get you to think that you were on his mind too?
Maybe it's a mutual thing?
Hm.

oh som

2011-12-08T04:39:00.000-08:00

And love is a thing that you can't define
Though you try with all your might through the riddles and rhymes
But it'll fly you like a kite; it'll throw you to the ground
But that's the best thing I have found.

And it comes and it goes
Where it’s headed no one knows
And we come and we go
Like the winter and the spring
Losing everything just to gain it back again

Middle Of June by Noah Gundersen

I've always been captivated by his songs. May favs are Middle Of June and The Ocean.

He's kind of a gospel singer I guess. Real good acoustics.

Today, I really stopped and listened to what he sang into my ears.

And those few lines I just posted up there, really spoke to me. I just had to share it here. (To whoever that's reading of course)

It was a productive day for me. Studied chemistry, went to class, thanked Ms. B for what she has taught. Went for lunch with the girls. Reminisced the old days by playing immature BUT FUN primary-school games. Azira was the mastermind behind all of these ideas of course (because she's so in touch with her innocence LOL). One of them was "Your True Love/First Date/First Night/First Kiss/First Marriage(?)/First Boyfriend Future Candidate" WHICH WAS SO ENTERTAINING. Us kids during primary, can't believe we were so creative and smart with all these tilik nasib (fortune telling) things.

The other game was naming a name, a country, an animal, a dish or food, an object and an artist starting with a chosen alphabet. OH MEMORIES <3 I loved this game. Tell you what, it's still awesome. Shahir (I know you're reading this) was kinda suckish at it. Hehe. I'm pretty sure we got pretty rusty at playing this game anyways.

Then Sask came and picked me up. Talked a lot. She said something really heart-warming and that one line really means a lot to me.

"You deserve to feel... that feeling... to be swept off your feet."

Fact. I've never had that feeling before.

Hm. I don't know if I deserve that, but if I do, I surely will have that when it's time. InsyaAllah.

Patience is a virtue.

Now I shall leave you with Noah Gundersen's Middle Of June. Enjoy.

sparkly boyfriend

2011-12-05T04:00:00.000-08:00

I pray that I won't see the day my brother catches me on 9gag.

HELP PLEASE :)

2011-12-01T21:20:00.000-08:00

If you guys have some time to spare, please help me fill up a survey. It will only take you about 3 minutes tops!
I'd appreciate it so so much :)

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/WF5XNHR

dreams and aspirations

2011-11-26T23:45:00.000-08:00

Someone very dear to me asked this question. Many a times I've thought about how my future is going to be like, but when the question presented itself to me, I hardly know where to begin. So, in the name of Allah, I'll try to answer this truthfully here. Now.

I want to ace university with flying colors! Hopefully I'm blessed with the chance to pursue it abroad (in the States tehee :B). Get a degree and make my parents proud. Get an awesome job that allows me to travel here and there, meet interesting new people, taste good food. Make this dream I share with my best friend Saskia, come true which is to open up an old folks' home and an orphanage. Of course, when we can really make it (amin to that). Open up a joined partnership deal with my long time buds, a restaurant/bistro of our own! Sky dive or bungee-jump. Help the poor. Make a change for animals. Be an ambassador maybe. Get lost in a foreign country that speaks a foreign language. Join a book club!
And then of course, meet the love of my life and fall head over heels for him (I'd love to meet him during my studying years just like how my parents met in the States when they were there to study too). Have a beautiful, low-key wedding, nothing over the top. The guest list will only include close family and friends. Go backpacking for our honeymoon (whoever you are, Mr. Future, I hope you're adventurous and spontaneous). I may not fit all my pretty dresses and clothes into a backpack, I may not look my best during this trip, but I assure you that we'll have the time of our lives. Then, settle in a cozy house. Doesn't matter if it's an apartment or a bungalow, because being with him means being at home for me. If we were to have a garden, I'll plant flowers and herbs (hmm if they can grow in our Malaysian climate that is). Cook meals for the family. Grant my parents and his the pleasure of having grandchildren.
Be closer to God and his Prophet. Perform the hajj. And just have the feeling of being content.

A rough guide of how I would want my life to turn out. I know the chances of this happening is really thin, but my dreams keeps my hopes alive. Everything will not be the way you want them to be, so you have to give and take. It's all about having to compromise. And never lose sight of the things that you already own, be thankful. Don't keep chasing something that's already out of reach. InsyaAllah, everything will fall into place one day. We just have to keep calm and pray for the best ♥

lame girl post

2011-11-21T04:23:00.000-08:00

Cliché, that we girls tend to write about matters of the heart. If you're not interested in me boring you in another episode of that, kindly exit this blog or don't read this post by all means.

I'm sure I have stated this time and time again in any of my previous blog posts, it is really hard for me to really REALLY like someone or to have affection for someone. It's a once in a blue moon kinda thing for me; affection. Crushes come and go, and they appear more frequently than having to like someone.

Hm. I. Don't. Know. What. To. Say.
Or what I'm feeling right now.

I'm hoping it's something. But I don't want to take risks right now.
I can't afford to let myself be hurt again. Or fall, when there's no one there to catch me.
I might be thinking too much, I tend to over-analyze, but at the same time I know there might be something there.
That gut feeling you know?

But whatever it is, this is really unexpected.
Thank you Lord, for giving me a bit more faith.
I surrender my fate to You. Show me the way, amin.

What are you looking forward to?

2011-11-12T11:34:00.001-08:00

FOR THIS SEMESTER TO END. Wait no, more specifically, FOR HOLIDAYS huhuhehehaha

Y U NO ASK ME QUESTIONS?

formspring.me

2011-11-12T11:33:00.001-08:00

Ask me questions about movies http://www.formspring.me/hanansyahmi

my unfortunate events

2011-11-12T10:44:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum. Hello. It's been a while.

So I've been caught up with a lot of work lately. Heaps of it. Alhamdulillah, I seem to manage. Some miracle always happens at the eleventh hour. I'm doing okay, but I'm barely floating though.

College has been a whirlwind so far. So many things I've experience but so little at the same time. I feel so detached from all of it. The only thing that keeps me there are my friends, Missy, Maria, Farah, Glow, Eera, Azira and Mariah. Of course, a lot of acquaintances, but I can count my close ones with my fingers. The fall semester is coming to an end and it still feels like it just started yesterday. The second we know it, it's already mid term and finals are just a few weeks away. How time flies.

Besides that, lots of things has been happening. Lots of things that has got to do with the heart.
I'm a Summer for those who don't know. Yes, the one in 500 Days Of Summer.
I tend to chase the boys I like, not settle for the ones who come. I give inappropriate signals to guys I'm not planning to be with, I'm too friendly sometimes (I think...). I like a guy, send him signals subtly, gradually building into obvious ones, then get tired and frustrated and leave. When all that fluttery gooey feelings about him goes away, he comes back. Hooray. Joy to the world huh. But sorry, you're just too little too late for that.

This is my problem. 2nd chances.
I don't give them away.

Recently, I was on a conquest to pursue this guy's heart. I was all out for him, supported him in every thing he does (even in HIS MISSION to pursue some other girl's heart...I. Am. A. Saint.), give him genuine compliments and seize every chance for me to show my affection towards him. You see, when I like someone, I will show it to them. I hate being all discrete and play all these guessing games I mean come on, isn't it obvious already? Anyways, I sorta got mixed signals from this guys. There are many a times where I felt like I should just stop and give up because it seemed like he wasn't into me but every time I try to pull away, he comes back. Sometimes I get the feeling that he reciprocated what I felt towards him. Most of the times I didn't. Oh wells.
On one fine day I realized that I spent basically half of my year trying to woo this guy. And it is so unlike me to be this way when I can't even last 2 months in a relationship (I don't have much exes fyi). So, in true Hanan-fashion, I confessed. It's either going somewhere, or it's not right? Well guess what, he didn't take up on my offer. I was rejected. It hurt of course, but hey, I tried meeting him halfway. Tried all my luck and it just wasn't meant to be I guess.

Waaaaaayyy later, this guy comes back (of course...). Eager to see me and all, asking his friends and mine where I'm at and stating that he hasn't seen me in so long. He wanted to see me. I'm cool with that, there's nothing wrong in seeing him. But the thing is, he always puts me in a situation where I feel that I was the one who had to ask HIM out. You know, by giving me hints that he's here or there but never really saying, Hey, let's lepak. I mean, you told me you wanted to see me, but couldn't you just ask me properly? Set a time or date maybe? I could've fitted you into my schedule. But I'm busy you know, I'm a student too.

Hm. I don't know what he's trying to do, but I just think that he wants to get close again as friends but maybe I'm just not giving him the chance to? Though Saskia (my BFF) says that's not the case. Well if it weren't, am I the one to be blamed?

Before I go and complete my speech for Monday, I've already decided on what I want for my birthday next year.

Birthday Wishlist;
- Coldplay concert ticket
- Ear-piercings (I am a pierce virgin)
- Looking for Alaska by John Green

Spreading love.
P/S: Be brave and chase whatever you want, regardless if you're a girl. We deserve to want things too.

formspring.me

2011-10-26T04:13:00.001-07:00

Ask me questions about music http://www.formspring.me/hanansyahmi

What's your dream car?

2011-10-26T04:12:00.001-07:00

One that flies and has auto pilot.

Y U NO ASK ME QUESTIONS?

How are you feeling?

2011-10-19T06:22:00.001-07:00

Confused. Disappointed. Lost. Empty.

Y U NO ASK ME QUESTIONS?

in a relationship with freedom

2011-10-17T05:54:00.000-07:00

Have you ever gotten tired of the question, "Are you single?". Well to be honest, no. I think that questions just opens up more doors.

But the part when they ask you, "Why?" is a bit tough to answer.

"I'm waiting for the right one."
"Just because..."
"I don't know."
"Um. No one's interested?"
"I'm not good in this stuff..."
"I'm in a relationship with food."

Those are the usual answers that might come out of my mouth.
Most people would just accept my bullshit answers. The rest would carry on asking.

"So how long have you been single?"

This is the part where everyone goes bonkers for God knows what reasons.

"Been single for 3 years plus. Nearing 4 actually."
"HA WHAT THE HAHA NO WAY YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE SOMEONE WHAT NO LA KAMON..." yada yada yada...

Hm. I don't really know whether to feel touched or just plain insulted. First of all, I don't really know why people would assume that I'm taken. But the most stupidest thing I've heard so far was "Pretty girls have to have boyfriends."

Pardon my french but WHAT THE DUCK? You saying that ugly people don't get to have partners? Well that's really shallow and stereotypical of you. Or maybe you're trying to say that you're beautiful because you're taken? Or maybe just to put yourself in better shoes by discriminating others?

That's really low. And if being taken is being "pretty" like YOU, I'd rather be alone and "ugly". I'm not saying I'm rotten in the inside too, but I must say you're soul is way more heinous than those of who you call "ugly".

computah leb

2011-09-05T19:37:00.000-07:00

Guten Morgen! I think that's how you say good morning in some foreign language. If I could magically speak some other language fluently, I think I'd speak Eskimo. Or is it Eskimo-ish? Eskimoean? Hm. Fish-language? No?

Or maybe Thai. Myeah~

So I'm at campus, smoothly typing away here. Feeling as if I'm being watched from behind me. Very, awkward. I hardly have anything to do on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Today I've only one class and it starts from 11.30 am to 1 pm. THEN I'M FREAKING DONE FOR THE DAY. But I've to wait for my fat brother to finish his classes at 5 freaking 30.

So I find myself usually cooped up in the computer lab in the library, abusing the use of internet here by filling my time with useless activities like these. Lol. Imagine if you caught someone watching pornography here. Okay, let's not go there.

Anyways, I've always felt that I'm a bit underdressed when it comes to coming to college. I wear simple clothes that are comfartable for wearing the whole day, I don't wear make up and my hair is a freaky mess most of the time. Sometimes I feel like as if I have to step up to the plate and pressured to dress like everyone else. Hm. But nah, thats not gonna get to me. I don't really care about how I dress to campus. So long as I took my bath.

Till then!

Why did I buy this phone?

2011-09-03T08:59:00.000-07:00

OMG I'm so having problems with my BIS services I can't even deal. I just found out why Hotlink/Maxis eats up my credit like dog food.

So okay, I'm currently on the RM1 BIS Social plan. (I just got a BB you see... How typical...)
There are certain days where I would activate my BIS and there are other days where my phone becomes just a phone. Not a smart phone. Haha. Get it?
With regards to my credit suddenly vanishing out of this air, DON'T BE FOOLED BY YOUR "FREE APPLICATIONS". Apps that needed downloading via BBApps are required to PAY even though it says "Free" but you still need to pay for the data space. Well, I was not aware of that.
And applications that require big data spaces like Foursquare, are going to charge you.

Thus explaining the sudden "low-on-credit" status.

Now, as for activating and deactivating the BIS services, I find it extremely hard to process the deactivating part. But when it comes to activating the BIS service, it happens really quickly. Been trying to deactivate this God damn service for more than an hour now. And it still prompts "Services are unavailable at the moment. Please try again later."

Hm. This is stressing me out.

ka-ching dollar bill

2011-04-04T04:28:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum and Hello!

Obviously, we've passed the red letter day for us 17 going on 18 (or already 18 for some :p) kids. And yes we already have our results.

I saw what was expected to be seen on that day. Buds getting together and catching up after what seemed like years of hiatus, parents waiting anxiously and secretly hoping for the best for their girls, tears of nervousness anticipating that one bloody piece of paper, juniors of the school sticking their noses into none of their business, bittersweet friendships that just might end on that day and of course, tears of joy and failure.

Then theres me, the neutral one. Never nervous, accepting whatever I'll get and annoyingly optimistic to some. LOL.

But I am happily content with my achievement. Theres no need to compare yourself to others because every individual is different, thus resulting in different brain capability and capacity. That's just how I put it.

I KNOW YOU SNEAKY LITTLE BROWN NOSERS WITH A HIDDEN AGENDA WANT TO KNOW MY RESULTS RIGHT?
Or maybe not...

Mmkay I'll let the suspense slide. I got 4 A's. I did okay, not brilliant, but okay. Not enough to secure me a scholarship though. Never mind, because you can still get one when you're in college/university if you excel! I'm optimistic. (There it goes again...)

Alhamdulillah, I've decided on where I'm heading and what I'm majoring in. InsyaAllah, it'll all work out. So in the meantime, I'll work in a field that requires some elements of what I'm about to study! In my case, that would be communicating.

I'm an official employee starting tomorrow! Come, let me lend you some of my optimism and pray that I'll draw more customers in aite :)

Much love,
Sam

eye candy

2011-03-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

I shall post photos for you guys to indulge in. Meet my favourite VS model, dutch beauty, Doutzen Kroes. She's too beautiful I just have to share it with the world :)

Some of my favourite photos of her. Sigh.

Love,

Sam

an education

2011-03-12T07:47:00.000-08:00

As you all know, I'm currently waiting for my SPM results to come out which happens to be on the 23rd of March 2011.

What us SPM candidates batch of 2010 do during our long, long break;

Be fat, happy and lazy
Sleep in all day and wake up late
Work (No more money for school 'cause we're not in school anymore. Sigh.)
Go out everyday. Party every night. (Not really...)
Insult the kids who are still in school and laugh your mind out 'cause you don't have to wear school uniforms anymore
Complain to fellow friends that you actually miss school.
And of course, think and plan about the near future.

The indecisive feeling of not knowing what the future holds is eating me alive @_@

What am I going to do?

What am I going to be?

Will I make it?

Would I fail?

Is this the right decision?

I question myself everyday. These harsh questions are like my current crush. I think about them before I go to bed. And wake up with them; the first thing on my mind. (This makes me sound so lifeless and paranoid. Sad.)

I won't be telling you where I might end up. But I've got an eye on the States! Wuhoooo :D

There is a big possibility that I'm going to go into ADP, which stands for American Degree Programme (for those who don't know). Yes, yes! The first thing I can imagine when I think about the States is New York. Sigh, wouldn't that be awesome if my imagination meets reality. Haha then it would be Inception. Lol.

Now my dear readers, the question that I've been asking not only myself, but all of my friends. WHICH MAJOR?

Journalism... OR Broadcasting?

I'm still contemplating between the two of them. It is by far the most toughest decision I had to make for the future of my education.

If it all doesn't work out, I shall pursue my secret dream/want of becoming a fire fighter.

Love,

Sam

Dunk-o-vision and Stoner-vision

2011-03-07T21:06:00.001-08:00

2011-03-04T06:22:00.001-08:00

inspiration

2011-03-03T09:47:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of this amazing tumblr; http://ohyellowbricks.tumblr.com

Thank you for your time.

Spreading love,

Sam.

2011-03-01T02:05:00.000-08:00

In reference to my post "something to ponder about"

ZURA OM said...

with regards to your quite interesting topic, heres what i think=)
Malaysians speak the English Language for various reasons;(what i mean by this is those who regularly speak this language-as their second language)
1. betterment of life
2. passion
3. boasting
and at times, it's hard to differ which category a person with broken english falls into.-whether they boast, wanna learn or know it's for the greater good.
at initial stage, the language itself was supposedly a tool for communication, where tons of scientific research from other languages are translated into english for the world to also keep up and get updated with the newfound discoveries made by the french, latinos, greek etc which is the main reason why it was introduced in our country and also for us to keep up with the global modernization.
now that we've partially reached our goal, english has more likely become a tool for measuring one's social caste, standard or status. if you can converse well, you intimidate and are one class above. but if you don't you're just...normal. better yet, one class below.
thus we now use it not to keep up with the modernization nor excitedly get our minds fed with latest research but to upgrade ourselves, to reach 'that' so called high standard and basically, to not feel intimidated by someone of the same race who could speak better english than we do. we have strayed from the initial purpose of using/learning english.
and that has somewhat made us judgmental towards each other. with every grammatical error we utter defines our social standard/status and we just can't help ourselves for criticizing them/not being concerned for their terrible english because we ourselves aren't certain of whether they boast, wanna learn or know it's for the greater good.
long-winded i know. but that's what i think=))hope it's acknowledged.

Thank you for the thoughtful comment Zura and I do agree with you. You are definitely fairly acknowledged :)

sleepless nights and daydreams

2011-02-26T06:54:00.000-08:00

Hello! Just a quickie from me.
I've been wanting to blog for a few days now. I always have something on my mind and have been itching to post it here. But as you all know, in true Hanan form, I get lazy and the idea tends to float away and disperse into blurriness.

Asides from that, I've also been trying to change my blog template. There are new templates installed in Blogger and they look so tempting @_@
But it's hard to find one like the one I'm currently using.

What do you think people? Let me know your opinions on whether I should or should not change my template.
Frankly, I like my blog's look right now. And since it's no longer available, my blog feels quite special! Don't you think? :D

Spreading love,
Sam.

something to ponder about

2011-02-19T23:47:00.000-08:00

Well well well now if it isn't Miss Hanan blogging on her blogspot again... Sorry for being M.I.A. once again and sorry for being sorry that I was M.I.A. countless of times. Alas! I have found the time and effort to post yet another opinion or something that I would love to share with all of my followers. Do read and drop your comments. We can discuss about this issue together! :D

"I went to KLCC just now and while I trying a Nike sport shoe, I saw this guy so cute too in Stadium. OMG blushing and my heart go fast dup dap dup dap. He look like the guy from Taylor Swift music video. I die :)"

Now now, before all of you get excited, I'm not going to talk about the brand Nike nor am I going to talk about Taylor Swift. It was a spur of the moment thing so her name suddenly popped, you know....

In this post here, I'm going to touch on the topic of Broken English. For those who don't know what's the definition of broken english (which I highly doubt), it's a term to describe the grammatically incorrect English of some native-speakers. In other words, it's english but spoken in a manner like the context above.

For people who are really fluent in this particular language, those who converse or write in broken english or simply fail to speak the language correctly are a huge pain in the butt. They find it so hugely irritating that they feel like slapping the other person across the table (of course, the one who's speaking english brokenly) and tell them to go to school again. It is a disgrace for some people of "standard" if one cannot speak the english language correctly. The normal reactions would be;

Exhibit A. Posh lady wearing designer brands.
"It's caviar... Don't you know what that means?" "I'm speaking in english so you best reply in english too!"

Exhibit B. "Cool" school girls.
"You know what, the other day I saw her Facebook status and she said like, 'I wants a boyfriend so that I happy'. HAHAHAHA. Check your english first or else no one wants you! LAME." "Teacher: The cheers girls please stay back after school. Students: Hahaha cheers?? CheerS? And you call yourself a teacher..."

You see, here in Malaysia, being able to speak in english is considered an "honour" or more likely having a certain "status" in the community. The common perception is, if you can't speak, you're a "kampung" (a village folk). My question is, why is the english language so worshiped by us Asians? Sure I get it, in order to be successful and reach beyond our borders, we should know the international language la di da di da...
But why is it a disgrace for a Malay girl who receives Malaysian education to not speak english fluently?
Why are these people who speak broken english shun?
Why?

An individual knows whether he or she is good in being linguistic. Heck, I'm a Malay and I've to admit that my Malay is not strong. But I did not say that I'm brilliant in English either. Dan saya bangga saya pandai berbahas dalam bahasa ibunda saya. What I can say is, instead of telling these types of people to go shove their english somewhere else or just "cakap BM je laaa", we should support them because they are learning. Critic all you want, but all those criticism won't get them anywhere. Correct them if you will and sooner or later maybe they'll be like this;

"I went to KLCC just now and while I was trying a pair of Nike sport shoes, I saw this guy who is so cute and he was in Stadium too. OMG, I was blushing so hard and my heart ran a million miles per hour. He looks like the guy from Taylor Swift's music video. I died and gone to heaven :)"

Be proud of your mother tongue homies! And like the Chinese and the Japs, we too will be just as successful.

Love,
Sam.

i love you blog

2010-11-27T11:01:00.000-08:00

Hi :)

Did you miss me? Well I can tell you this, I so freaking missed blogging! It's 2.52 in the morning now and I'm feeling darn inspired. I apologize for going awol on you guys (or to whomever thats reading this).

Okay, quick updates;

I'm 17 and I already own my driving license (check)
SPM season is on and 3 papers down WUHOO
I got fatter... Seriously
Now that I'm blogging, I don't know what to say
I still love being random

Reading my past posts brings back colourful memories. It shows how much spunk I've got and I've sort of realized that I'm not really sure if I can be that person again. Don't get me wrong, I'm still me but I've matured a lot in thinking. I hope that one day I'll use this blog as a medium to speak and to reach out in a whole new other way that I've been doing before. People's gotta change, truths has to be spoken and rights has to be justified. I'll do it. I can make it.

Hahaha what am I talking about? Back to the old self again. Sigh, Hanan.. Hanan..

Well it's awesome that I get to blog again. I'll blog soon, InsyaAllah.

Spreading love,

-Sam

this is how we do it

2010-07-21T09:44:00.000-07:00

I've got only 12 posts in 2010 so far. 13 including this one. Holy crap.
But it still surprises me that some people drop by here once in a while. My lovable friends do too :')

Brain.Not.Functioning. Not.Gonna.Talk.Much.Bye.

My very own "Vampire vs. Werewolf" picture :D

spender

2010-05-21T07:22:00.000-07:00

Now, who says Superman is not a fashion icon?

what lies beneath

2010-05-08T07:26:00.000-07:00

I have come to terms with the saying; "don't judge a book by its cover". Regardless of how many times I've wrote the phrase in my essays and advices (yes, I give out advices I can't take), I can't help judging people by how they appear physically.

There is this one kid in school who looks really innocent. Like muka tak cukup umur punya innocent. She is younger than me, obviously. Quite petite and kind of quiet. Well, thats how I see it. But hey was I wrong. She turned out to be the type who hangs with boys after school. Alone. And walks back to school later on and wait for her parents to fetch her. She also got called by the school's discipline teacher a few times.

Or maybe this other girl I first laid eyes on at the nearby mamak restaurant from school. I never saw her before. Zkay pointed out the girl to me saying that that girl is from our school and she wears the tudung. Ahh, maybe thats why I haven't seen her around. She sat at the back of the restaurant, tudungless, with a table-full of SJI boys. One of em must be her boyfriend.

On that day, I took the evening bus home. So I had like 3 hours to kill before the afternoon batch finishes school. I went to Popular Bookstore to accompany Zkay and was fancying an Alice In Wonderland book which looked so authentic and rustic in a way. Then went back to school and waited for my bus to come. While waiting, a girl came to me and asked me for my assistance. Her crisis? Add maths. Should've known. Thankfully, I remembered those vague memories on how to tackle last years' crap. But there was still a lot of time to waste before bell rings. Which led me on my way to Cap Square and guess what? I saw that tudungless girl. Again. But this time, it was just her and her boyfie. Oh boy did I gave her the stare.

You see, we are easily deceived by what we see. Something so pretty could be ugly on the inside. Someone who looks easy on the eyes may have rotten secrets. But not every ugly piece of junk appears to be worthless. Just like diamonds, you have to dig hard to see its' true self.

I hate curse words (even if I use them occasionally). But I really hate it when those words are enunciated infront of adults or worse, kids. SMALL-FREAKING-NAIVE-KIDS.

This guy (code name: X) is from SJI and happens to be in the same bus as I am. As you all should know, my bus is jammed packed with kids from primary school. And X is totally oblivious to the fact that these kids will pick up whatever language they don't even understand what and how to use em! I can't even count the times he curses in one day. It's so pathetic and he gets on my nerves every time he yells a bad word. I seriously despised his attitude, his mintak-penampar-face and his hair which looks like a violation to fashion. I hope he doesn't kiss his mom with that mouth.

It was one of those days where I had to take the train back home. As usual, I'll get down at Setiawangsa, walk to the back and pass by a woman who stays there everyday and begs for money before taking a cab back home. I wish I could offer the lady a lot more than just only 1 ringgit whenever I had enough to spare. As I was walking to the taxi stand, I noticed a school boy walking ahead. He looked somewhat familiar and his hair is giving me ideas of who he might be. When I got closer, I finally recognized that it was X. Hmm. Abruptly, he stopped. Infront of the lady. After his hands danced in his pockets, he took out a few 1 ringgit notes and placed it in the lady's cup. Bless his soul, for I was shocked, surprised and thankful to see him do that. It really caught me off guard, I mean, HIM of all people?

Like the saying goes, never judge a book by its cover.

connection

2010-04-06T00:13:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a spark between a complete stranger?

I was coming back from school after a tiring day. Because I missed my bus, I had to take the train. It was just as normal as any other train rides I've had before until a guy came in from Dang Wangi or was it KLCC and sat directly across from where I was. Well, you know us humans, we have the tendency to look at moving things. So I looked at him. And then looked away. Then thought he looked like someone I know and is kinda cute. The temptation to look again was instantly there.

I looked. Our eyes met. Then hurriedly try to focus on something else. But I still want to look at him.

I looked. Again. Our eyes scoured the space, in need of a focal point.

I did get to notice a few things about him. Obviously, he is a working man. Not that old. Huge eyes and decent hair. He had a laminated page of a newspaper and the headline read something about AF. Weird..

When he got out on the Ampang Park station, I grabbed my last chance to look. As my eyes waited for his appearance on the escalator, his eyes met mine once more.

And that was it.

big, bold and beautiful

2010-03-06T06:18:00.000-08:00

Why do we need to follow how celebs look like when we can follow the trends of real, normal people?

très bien

2010-03-05T03:28:00.000-08:00

I would never be this bold.

new word for today

2010-03-05T01:11:00.000-08:00

is Toddy!

It may be;

A mixed drink
Or a slang for toddler. Haha

Dad quoted Karam Singh Walia,

"Sambil menyelam, minum toddy."

I was chatting with him on messenger. The conversation was quite long and... friendly (?). Eventually I asked "Aren't you working?" then he quoted that.

We also talked about my studies, my brother and other stupid stuffs I thought I'd never talk about with him. We started off with questions regarding my studies. My Dad has this insane want for me to get a freakin scholarship. Like, hello, Earth to Babah? Even some of the smartest kids who scored like a gazillion A's don't get scholarships. What more a girl like me?!

Hmm. I'll try my best for sure. InsyaAllah.

And somehow we managed to talk about Johnny Depp. No, I didn't talk about his hotness or whatever. We discussed about his weirdness :D

But still, it was a weird topic.

You know I have this habit of saying "lol" all the time. Everytime I said "lol" during that conversation, Dad will reply "lol to you too". Like wth?

"Bah, do you even know what LOL means?"

"bahaLOL."

AAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!! Dad is so goofy in so many other ways.

This is Babah; Hulk version :D

waliau

2010-02-27T05:50:00.000-08:00

Yet another uber tiring day. It's so sad for us banditos 'cause we feel stripped to the core when were humiliatingly punished and had to endure the blazing heat under the scorching sun.

It's one part fun when you remember your scores and formations, one part tiresome, two parts frustration and a whole lotta hell for me.

AND I'M TANNED GOD DAMN IT

The Before Skin Pigment

The After Skin Pigment

That's bass number 2 over there. Mr. Koh said to have fun under the sun.

So I did! :D

I was dead tired and my back is giving me hell. So I didn't care about the grass so much. Felt like a Hindustan scene where the hero and heroin sings their hearts out, chase one another and rolls on the grassy fields.

Well, I didn't really sing. Instead, I took my cam out :D

6th March come fast. 10th March come faster!

pitka

2010-02-25T23:12:00.000-08:00

Fine. I'll update my blog. Yeesh.

I don't even know people still read it.

Today is a public holiday! Because it's Prophet Muhammad's birthday today. I found this picture up here on the net. It's old (note: 2008M) but it still looks fresh. Yesterday we had a lecture speciallized for this day and Alhamdulillah, I didn't get lured by syaitans' temptations. Wuhoo!

I also found out that Malaysia has the most number of holidays compared to all the other countries in the world. Not only do we hold that record, we have the most numbers of Kings (Sultans) too.

February is ending soon and I've got only 5 posts this year. Bloggy, please don't feel neglected. I'm just really busy. And when ideas come around, they tend to disperse when my fingers reached the keyboard. Thus, I end up not blogging because I don't want readers to read crappy stuffs like this. I'm sorry Bloggy ♥

I have been through some misfortunes lately. Some of the people in my school are under the impression that I'm something I'm really not. It makes me feel really unworthy and unrespectable. It's that feeling when they think you're just not that good and maybe you cheated. Ugh. It sucks even more when I'm confronted and seem to be tongue tied. I mean, I don't usually answer back so I just kept quiet. Then I'll get angry at myself for not explaining the real fact that really happened. But thinking back, I would not be able to do that either.

Sigh. Delimma, delimma. Like the wise words of Jimmy Eat World,

"It just takes some time, little girl,

You're in the middle of the ride,

Everything, everything will be just fine,

Everything, everything will be alright. Alright."

I'll hang in there.

Lately, I've been listening and browsing soundtracks of movies. I've found some awesome ones.

I so love the Indian songs. They're really classic and the sounds of sitars are just mesmerizing.

For those who haven't watched the movie yet, if you like weird movies like The Royal Tenenbaums, please do proceed.

The Love Guru also offers killer tracks. And the movie is effin funny you can literally roll on the floor laughing.

Saying I love you

Is not the vords I vant to hear from you

It's not that I vant you

Nod to say, but iv you only knew

How easy it vould be to show. me. how. you feeel

More than vords is all you have to do to make it reeel

Then you vouldn't have to say that you love me

Cause I'd already know

HAHA. How can you not love Mike Myers? :D

I'll update more on recommended soundtracks yaw. Peace out. Eh, I mean,

Marishka Hargitay :)

pencil skirts, money and good shoes

2010-02-19T21:08:00.001-08:00

you're not supposed to have coffee 3 hours before you sleep

2010-02-16T08:44:00.000-08:00

I did. Hello insomnia :D

So, my school has this interclass drama competition. And I'm so proud to say that my class is so gonna win this year! I can say that the prize is totally in the bag. We've got an awesome director, an awesome script-writer and awesome actresses! WOOTS!

Prepare to meet your doom CBNers.

The previous paragraph was pure bullsh*t. None of it was true. Entirely made up for disgusted reactions from readers. Ha. Ha.

Truth is, dinner's not served yet. We don't even have the recipe yet!

But one thing's for sure, I've got an awesome class with awesome classmates :D

Currently;

Checking emails and replying stuffs on Facebook. Is it true that we have to pay to use Facebook in the future?
Smelling like trash. Stinking cat! Darn you Modjo.
Concocting an evil plan MUAHAHAHA (still undecided)
Deciding on which essay to write for the bloody commonwealth essay competition thing
Yawning
. . . . . (brain stops here)

I watched the movie the other day. Basically its all about greek mythology meets 20th century kinda thing. Here's what I think of the movie :

James Bond (slash Pierce Brosnan) was a centaur,

that chick who played G-Girl in my Super Ex-Girlfriend was Medusa (wicked hair),

Annabeth; daughter of Athena the Goddess of Wisdom, has gorgeous eyes,

Percy's best friend/protector turns out to be Mr. Tumnus (half-goat) and reminds me of some guy from Epic Movie,

the frikkin girls who sat beside me are frikkin annoying,

Hell turns out to be located at the Hollywood sign, who would've guessed,

to get to Hades' lair, you have to naik sampan,

then to get to Olympus, you have to go to the Empire State Building and get on a special lift. Haa.

I thought the movie was stupid. And it's kinda hard to watch if some girls beside you jump and chants "EEIH EIIH" or "CEPAT CEPAT CEPAT!" or "EHH YA ALLAH ADA KAT SITU JEE!!" everytime some action is about to kick in. And if a dude on the other side talks loudly in Tagalok like it's nobodies business. Garh.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm not meant for cinemas. Lol.

Well, originally, our plan was to watch Valentines Day (Rye yang nak tgk) but of course we were too late. Rye popped a question that goes,

"I wonder... If Taylor Swift got married to Taylor Lautner, will she change her lastname? Then it's gonna be Taylor Lautner with Taylor Lautner. Or Mr. Taylor Lautner and Mrs. Taylor Lautner?"

AHAH! INGENIOUS! :D

vintage love

2010-02-06T08:02:00.000-08:00

weird-awkward-poses

are the way to go

blog now, i shall

2010-01-09T09:23:00.000-08:00

No updates for so long ey. School started, thus the hectic life begins oh and unHappy New Year.

Well, whatever.

para-para sakura dance

Ahh. You gotta love Star Wars.

2009-12-28T21:49:00.000-08:00

WHATTHEFISH

my girls wanted to know

2009-12-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

What my dream guy is like.

Tall, lean and tan.

Jet-black hair shaved close to his head.

Dimples - oh my god.

Liquid eyes.

Not cute-

Gorgeous.

OKAY that was not entirely my "dream guy". That was from my favourite book. And yes, he's purely fictional. But hey, pretty good description for a guy who doesn't exist.

I've never really put much thought into this thing actually. I've got no plans whatsoever for my future (which is tumbling and crashing down towards me really fast). I've heard people starting to think names for their babies already. AND THEY'RE STILL MINORS. At least, they know what they want and they're putting their eyes on the prize. Well, as for me, umm.. let me put it this way-

I. Don't. Know. What. I. Want.

Yet.

I've had this conversation with Mom before. I only knew that i wanted to marry a chef (and still does). I told her I believed in love at first sight :)

She doesn't.

Nor does Hana.

IT COULD HAPPEN YA KNOW. Or I might be superstitious? Nahhh...

"Be my singing lesson

Be my song.

When I tell you I'm falling,

Tell me I'm strong."

-Patty Griffin

So, I'm pretty sure I can tell you this much, my future hubby, is the man of my dreams.

mom is a bad secret-keeper

2009-12-24T08:57:00.000-08:00

maas mazlan says:

u chatting w Ryessa ke?

Sam says:

ryessa, hana

maas mazlan says:

or...that fella?

Sam says:

what fella?

maas mazlan says:

no fella lah. ok gud nite bibi

Sam says:

okay

bye bye

was dad trying to be funny?

sepet

2009-12-22T10:57:00.000-08:00

Got this from Jason Mraz's blog via Joey's.

Ya Allah. Berikanlah aku kesempatan untuk gigit budak ini.

2009-12-21T00:18:00.000-08:00

I dream the things I want but will never get. But when I see everyone else enjoying my little piece of desire, it seems kind of unfair.

Good things rarely happen to me, I know. This sounds selfish but- I think I deserve a miracle too.

fangy

2009-12-18T00:32:00.000-08:00

heinous but kinda cool. i love Zooey :D

like santa exists

2009-12-12T04:58:00.001-08:00

solar bras are the new "in-thing".

2009-12-01T12:16:00.000-08:00

in The Twilight Saga movies. It's unnecessary.

future + crap + random + life= Hanan

2009-12-01T09:25:00.000-08:00

I am always self-conscious whenever people are around me or when i'm in public. Always aware of eyes on me, always fiddling with my hair or my shirt and always keeping my distance away from people; you know, in case I have bad breath or a zit the size of Kansas. I hate to admit this because I look so carefree on the outside and a shy smile intact, but the truth is hidden behind a mask. I'm just a good actress.

Somewhere inside of me, lies a girl with big dreams. Though, the chances of it actually being put into real life is really thin. Thinking of it that way makes me feel like a small town girl who just knows about marriage; how ironic considering the fact that i live in the city. One of the biggest dreams of mine is to live a luxurious life. No, not luxurious in a wealthy way with loads of cash, but wealthy in friendship, freedom, carelessness, and of course love.

I don't have the courage to fulfill that YET, but I will get there soon. Right after I figured out who I am exactly. The thought of it send shrills throughout my body. I can't wait to embark on that journey. The journey to discover what God has set for me, to enjoy wonders of life and to learn from it.

Being an avid reader has its many advantages. Of course, the obvious reason is because it takes you somewhere without even travelling there, only the mind does. And of course it broadens your perception on everything. It's like taking a stroll in another man's shoes. A reader is a dreamer. I dream constantly of the grounds I'm about to step in the future; another continent maybe, about my future husband; a chef preferably, and of course my absurd visions of me being able to sing in front of an audience, a big one that is. But I was just singing out of tune in the bathroom, naked while taking a shower.

I've seen a lot of characters throughout my sixteen years. Sometimes they appear to be exactly like the characters in my books! But I guess we aren't really that cruel either. Wannabes, riches, tomboys, desperados and et cetera. There was always an invisible dividing line, like us versus them. It sounds stupid in chick lits but I've seen them in real life. The dramas, the fights... UGH sometimes it sounds worse than economical breakdowns. Remember Mean Girls? The flickers she gets of the uncivilized fights which normally happens in the savanah but instead it happens in her school? Yeah, its really like that in real life. Not because of the fighting, but mostly because its noisy.

The point here is, I don't really know if I fit. Into that picture or in anywhere else. I don't feel like I'm really normal because I think I'm too weird to be normal. Or maybe, I'm just different. In a bad way. I don't... know.

Let's hope that works out in the end. Cheers to randomness. The world will be a dull place without it. Spreading love..

what

2009-11-29T08:00:00.000-08:00

the hell?

disappointed. thats for sure.

i don't recommend watching New Moon for fans who actually reads the book.

Team JAKEWARD

2009-11-22T08:56:00.000-08:00

'New Moon' Shatters Records In The Saturday Box Office Report

Posted 19 hrs ago by Josh Wigler in Box Office

1. "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" ($72.7 million)
2. "The Blind Side" ($10.9 million)
3. "2012" ($8.1 million)
4. "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" ($3.6 million)
5. "Planet 51" ($3.2 million)

You don't have to be a mind-reading vampire with diamond-encrusted flesh to know who this weekend's box office champion will be. With "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" in over 4,000 theaters nationwide, there was virtually no chance that the continued romance of Edward Cullen and Bella Swan would fall anywhere short of first place — but perhaps no one could have predicted just how far ahead of the competition "New Moon" would end up.

The second "Twilight" installment has already shattered records and expectations by earning $26.3 million from midnight showings alone, decimating the record previously held by "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince." Additionally, "New Moon" enjoyed the single most lucrative opening day in the history of cinema with $62.2 million, a record previously held by "The Dark Knight." Combined with the midnight intake, "New Moon" has already earned $72.7 million — and the weekend isn't even over.

Box office watchdogs aren't necessarily convinced that "New Moon" will take the record for best opening weekend of all time — that distinction is still held by "The Dark Knight" with $158.4 million — but the "Twilight" sequel is likely to earn the fourth highest weekend, according to Deadline Hollywood Daily. Regardless, "New Moon" will almost certainly have the best opening weekend ever for a non-summer movie.

While Friday surely belongs to Edward, Bella and Jacob, there were other new releases in theaters as well. "The Blind Side" took second place with an admirable $10.9 million, though such a result pales in comparison to "New Moon." Third place belonged to last week's winner "2012" with an $8.1 million intake, bringing the film's domestic total to $89.8 million. "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" earned fourth place with $3.6 million in less than 700 theaters, while newcomer "Planet 51" managed $3.2 million in its opening day.

getting jitterbugs? join the club! i'm hyperventilating just thinking about the film. and its cool that The Twilight Saga opens new doors for new artistes. like Anya Marina who contributed the soundtrack "Satelite Heart". i love her and i uber love that she and Death Cab For Cutie are going to be heard in the movie.

for more uber vampness, visit http://www.twilightthemovie.com

it'll blow your socks off.

enjoy!

IMs of the day

2009-11-18T01:36:00.000-08:00

Babah

masmazlan@yahoo.com says:

gi lah jual burger ke, tempe ke....get yourself useful...tak pon gi cat pagar yang dah kurap tu?

masmazlan@yahoo.com says:

lepas mandi masuk dryer...bleh tak?

sekali keluar jadi macam goliwok ngan rambut mengerbang cuuuun!

pas tu amek gambar masuk lam FB ...worait kan?

then there was Rye

RyessaNorzally:

wii berapa eh?

Since kita malas sangat nak exercise

wii macam serbaguna

Tingkatkan minda,mahupun bentuk badan

RyessaNorzally:

lepas spm nak joget lambak pun boleh

Hanan Syahmi As'ad: vroom impak maksimaa

RyessaNorzally: Ada impak minima

RyessaNorzally: Haha mcm bodoh

Hanan Syahmi As'ad: HAHAHA

Hanan Syahmi As'ad: impak.. mediuma?

then theres...

Me!

Sam says:

nanti dia jadi MOMOK MONSTER!

Hanan Syahmi As'ad:

beef teriyaki la sodap

Hanan Syahmi As'ad:

californiaaaa

californiaaaaaaaaaaaaa

here we comeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

mmmmmeeeahhhh

Hanan Syahmi As'ad:

HAHAHAHAHA

kau ni spare tyre (cne nk eja?) betul

spare TAYAR

Sam says:

NEW MOON LA BABIII

next week fo shiznit

Sam says:

papa-paparazzi

2009-11-15T10:49:00.000-08:00

Other men said they have seen angels,

But i have seen thee

And thou art enough.

-G. Moore

hi, i'm random

2009-11-12T00:19:00.000-08:00

Hey there. my friends at school must be wondering where the hell have i been this whole week and where is my part of the Lisan thing. i'm sorry i'm absent from school, i might suffer from the Monday Blues syndrome everyday of the week. hehe. i'm sorry Anisahuri for making you crazy. you know i love you :) oh and i hope Zkay is still sane without me. gosh i miss you guys but sadly the teachers miss me more :D

What I Do At Home

current best friends; Tetot, Mojo. i think i have fully grasped the art of cat whispering. blame my family, they aren't in the same house anymore. thankfully a friend of mine visits me from time to time. its good to have some mano-a-mano conversation! its hard to have a decent conversation with my bro or sis. our normal family conversation now is via Skype. uhh technology. sometimes you gotta kick it oldschool.

aside from talking to cats, i talk to my guppies too. but its sad though, because one by one, they die and sink to the bottom of the pool. i guess we're not meant to breed guppies anymore :(

ahh yet another project i've been working on these days, cooking! well i'm not a pro, YET, but i practice :D

some goals throughout cooking project/note to self :

overcome knife-phobia
do not burn fingers anymore
master time-keeping so that food wont get burnt
stay away from the salt ( you put it in too much)
wear goggles while chopping onions

thats pretty much it for now. too bad i cant cook some dishes due to lack of ingredients.

besides that, i also go online sometimes and check on my mails and chat with random people. hey, i feel like making a random bucket list now. D:

i want a new notebook/webcam
i want to marry a chef
i want my driver's license now
i want a pair of sneakers
i want Alex Pettyfer to call me out on a date
i want to make it big in my future career
i want enough A's for my SPM. straight A's dont really matter
i want to own a yogurt cafe (?)
i want to go on to theatre
i want to live with Saskia in a condo or an apartment suits just fine
i want a punching bag in my room
i want to know how it feels like kicking some jerk in the gut
i want to help the unfortunate and share my wealth with them
i want to spread world peace
i want to sack somebody
i want to make a scene in a public place and get arrested by the police. okay maybe not.

theres so much to do and so little time. i hope i live long enough to enjoy more pleasures in the world.

post secret

2009-11-01T06:03:00.000-08:00

it makes me appreciate vandalism.

walking with the dead - volume 2

2009-10-21T05:47:00.000-07:00

A walk with the dead -Hanan

Dear Hanan,

if one day when i go to school and found out that you were no longer here, i wouldn't want to come the next day. coz of all my classmates, you're one of the best. i look forward to seeing all your quirky expressions throughout the day. those are one of the best times. my quirky weird friend.

how nice. and how random =D

it surprises me sometimes when i blogwalk, i get to see my name on someone else's posts. especially when they say nice things about me. or even just putting my link on their link list.

thank you friendzies. he he.

this one goes out to my awesome classmates (regardless of how annoying you guys are :p )

Hello 4T.

Aliah Amira,

she is my substitute Petricia. we've grown pretty close this year. not to mention our lunch mates Farhana a.k.a Kecik, Aimi and Hanim. without you in the class, i dont think i'll have my So You Think You Can Dance partner. eyy eyy? ;D

Farhana,

this short girl has got a big brain. yeah, you miss smarty skirts (since you dont wear pants at school). i'll miss your vibrant humor, your loud voice and the way you dance to Inul's songs. you'll be my Ratu Dangdut in class. and if you're not there, how am i supposed to score my Agama right?

Zkay,

little miss everything :p

i gotta be honest with you. when we weren't friends before, that was like in form 1 and form 2 i guess, i've always had an image of you being Miss Popular. seriously! everyone knows you, you were a prefect for goodness sake and teachers adore you. (lmao) i tau you tengah geleng kepala. shut up, dont be in denial. but band brought us closer. and i've discovered that there is more to then meets the eye. you're a smart girl with a cool attitude and a good sense of humor to boot! i cant always be moody at school cause i know that your blurness cracks me up. hilang macho i.

the list goes on (theres too much to type about each and everyone of you. 4T.I.U.T.C!),

Fatin

Aimi

Hanim

Syakirah

Liyana

Liyana F.

Haznim

Irdina

Riza

Anisah

Yathar

Chia Pei a.k.a Hippo

Hazirah

Sya

and even the Babes. haha you get what i mean? *hint* Chillax laa..

hehe :)

THE Book Club forever aite?

who got style

2009-10-18T08:05:00.000-07:00

i am a Muslim.

and i am proud to be one :)

a series of unfortunate events

2009-10-16T01:34:00.000-07:00

i just watched a youtube video and it was funny. fine, i watched two. o. kay.

Monday. Dooms Day.

Bahasa Melayu. i thought it got changed to Bahasa Malaysia i mean yellow, not only Malays speak the language. Bahasa rasmi negara = Bahasa Negara = Negara Malaysia = Bahasa Malaysia. right?

twas tuff y'tell ya. (translation ; it was tough, i tell you) who knew tests takes so long?

i've always wondered why Kakak's papers' duration were like 2 hours ++. now, i even get to experience it! yeay D:

Tuesday. why is it Mon/Tues/Wednes/Thurs/Fri/Satur/Sunday? why cant they call it day 1, day 2, day 3, day....

wa liao. Engrish maaa. i dowan to tawk abaw tit. lets say ah, my paype awl hamsap leh!

Wednesday. is the name of Morticia and Gomez's daughter.

okay i was a little bit over confident on this day. i should've practiced more. but thankfully tuition helped. damn, numbers should have mercy on me.

Thursday. . . .

mom's quote,

"isnt history wonderful? :D"

hell yeah.

Friday. its time be holy.

gosh i hope i can score this! and i'm reaaaaaly counting on it! and i hope my pafa helps. InsyaAllah =)

the continuing week...... and the punishment goes on.....

Monday. Day of Reckoning.

we got our death sentence today.

"WEH ABENDA TADI DOH?! tiba-tiba jumpa soalan macam tak pernah jumpa!"

dipetik dari parbahasan Farhana Amanina sebaik sahaja ujian Matematik Tambahan berakhir.

i wish i had a talking calculator from the future where you can type in the question and get the answers straight away. okay, if it was a talking calculator, i'll put it on mute so that other people wont get to hear my answers :D

Tuesday. put on your thinking hair.

like Einstein's do'. hopefully with the hair, comes the smart genes.

summary of the whole paper: I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WROTE.

it goes something like this,

Blablabla is crap crap crap crap. Crap happens because blablablabla. Yadayadayada meow meow meow goes vroom vroom vroom.............

the score is gonna look mighty fine.

Wednesday. beneath the clothes we find a man...and beneath the man, we find his....nucleus.

this is why i dont want to be a doctor.....

Thursday. Day of Salvation.

i love Chemistry. but apparently, i kinda suck at it.

*blur*

omaigat! MERDEKA!!!

and we danced and screamed and sang and went back and slept like fat pigs.

TAMAT

Selamat Maju Jaya!

walking with the dead

2009-10-09T01:48:00.000-07:00

what would i do if my best friends die.

(before i do)

W.A. ,
you are the most inspiring and influential person i have ever met.
you conquer obstacles, chase your dreams and fight for whats right.
i would honour you by naming my daughter after you.
hopefully by giving her your name, your spirits will be implemented inside her as well.

S.Z. ,
i'm ashamed to say that i dont know you really well. but we connected.
if you moved on, this might sound crazy, but i'll go after the man who loves you and whom you love back. if i'm single at the time of course.
by loving him like you do, i'll get to feel how he treats you, thus keeping my memories of you alive. inside of him.

F.A. ,
i was always very protective of you. and i still am.
if i lose you, i'll always have a sense of loss. like a mother bear who lost her cub.

A.N. ,
i'll go and try out sports. for you.
i'll be feisty and aggressive. for you.
but i cant ever be as magnetic as you are.

N.R. ,
your pictures will be collected and immortalized in a scrapbook.
i'll even gather all my courage, and sing your song, Yellow, in front of a bunch of crowd as a tribute to you. look how they shine for you..

and of course not forgetting

S.S. ,
you are my other half. and for that, i wont do anything.
i wouldnt even mourn. because i know, that you live within me.
and for that, i have to keep myself happy, to keep you happy.
i'll blow up a huge portrait of you, black and white as you like it, and hang it in my house for all to see. and when people ask, "Who is that?"
i'll just say, "Thats me."

i'll love you all until i die. and then, what would you?

*names are typed in initials

too blue to be true

2009-09-28T06:45:00.000-07:00

unleash the beast within

2009-09-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

i like to run with scissors. it makes me feel dangerous.

ma soeur,

2009-09-23T01:03:00.000-07:00

its boring to like him you know. girls, Eddie is not him!

i hate to burst your bubble Kakak, but isnt this..

you thinking whom i'm thinking?

a note

2009-09-23T00:20:00.000-07:00

Its a slow day. It feels like house arrest. I can hardly go out; parents are paranoid, Mom is using crutches and Dad (and Ijat) is busy preparing for his leave. This Sunday. Bro, its your last week to be a KL-ite. Maybe i'll take him to a movie or something. Yeah.

3.28 PM.

I just took a shower. Clearly i'm not in my best shape and i'm starting to think that school is the balance to my life. Like, school is fundamental. What sucks is that i have not touched my homework YET and i've no clue how to start that Bio crap.

As i lay on the couch, watching tv, listening to Mom and Nenek gossip about my relatives, i feel nauseated. The day is eating my brain like cows eat cud. Eww okay maybe not. I plan what i want to do before sleep, a monologue i recite, my mantra before dozing off. But still, i haven't done anything i wanted to. To exercise, to read, to be healthy. None of those actions are set in motion.

I walk, upstairs, downstairs, the tiny bells on my left ankle cadencing. I stopped in the kitchen, my back on the counter. Staring out into space i wondered what my friends were doing. They didn't text nor call. Neither did i. We all meet in the cyber world.

I feel so pathetic. Disturbed maybe.

It was just a nudge.

when vampires attack

2009-09-16T05:29:00.000-07:00

The Twilight Saga: New Moon Trailer in HD

Saskia, look. i got an even better trailer :D

i got issues

2009-09-12T07:59:00.000-07:00

i wish i could be this cute =(

rotiku

2009-09-07T23:59:00.000-07:00

meet my online tutor.

pretty girl, great talent

2009-08-29T09:25:00.000-07:00

Saoirse Ronan is a very good actress. i've seen her in Death Defying Acts alongside

Catherine Zeta-Jones.

movie anyone?

hairy

2009-08-28T02:03:00.000-07:00

LOOK LOOK :D

best smacked-face award

my darling Saskia :)

our hair.

NOT combined.

sambil tu dengar gossip orang sebelah. he's indonesian i think

daily dose of home

2009-08-25T00:21:00.000-07:00

kakak, look. bazaar :D

kakak, look. Rasta :D

bye.

fast, cepat

2009-08-24T23:44:00.000-07:00

fine. i'm doing all of you a favor. :p

it's the fourth day of fasting. i still cant believe Ramadan is here. its so surreal.

one minute, i was just about to start school and the other, the year is coming to an end.

buka celik, buka celik, dah puasa.

lepas puasa, Raya.

lepas Raya, exam.

lepas exam, habis sekolah.

SLOW DOWN MAN!

my friend once said to me in my classroom,

"Hanan, can you please slow down. Lari sana, lari sini."

yeah, talk about kung fu hustle. haha. i always hear the quote, "time waits for no man" . or was it money?

us humans are in such a hurry. sometimes we just need a break from it all. from life even.

i've grown tired of racing to classes, hand in due projects and not to mention, juggle my daily social

atmosphere.

yeah sure, i love my friends, but i hate whatever drama or crisis thats been on around in the circle.

all this hustle and bustle just makes me want to quit. LITERALLY.

from school.

from K.L.

from Malaysia.

i sometimes wish i could just quit my life here, and move on to Brunei with the rest of my family soon.

sure, Brunei is a boring country, Brunei is not as happening as KL, Brunei has lame people, Brunei this,

Brunei that..

whatever. at least its got nothing to do with anything over here.

__________

last night's tarawih prayers are by far the longest compared to the other days i've been this month.

the Imam recited long, longgg surahs. kesian grandmas and aunts yang ada.

i was tired myself. i sort of slept while standing. haha!

but i didnt give in. i mean, it would be embarrasing since the veteran people boleh tahan.

i'm thankful that the makcik next to me was friendly.

in between the period after Isyak prayers and when tarawih was about to start, some ladies excused

themselves for.. a potty break i think?

"Semua orang terkentut," she wispered and shared a secretive smile. i cant help but to giggle.

its a bummer that Mum and Makcik cant tag along.

both of them are currently enduring leg pains. har har.

as for Kakak, DAMN TOO BAD YOURE NOT HERE.

ada masjid tak kat sana?

ada bazaar tak kat sana?

ada kuih raya tak kat sana?

ada onde-onde tak kat sana?

ada lelaki hot tak kat sana?

ehem.

ada orang bangunkan you tak utk sahur?

do you miss nenek? :)

bad ass

2009-07-26T00:07:00.000-07:00

bad ass scar pictures taken from my deadly encounter with...

my bad ass kitten. he looks like an alien in this photo.

which makes it cool.

vindicated

2009-07-18T20:46:00.000-07:00

Hello Love :)

how are ya doing today?

i'm fine thanks for asking

so, i was browsing blogs and then....

Time dgn Hanan:

Actually if I'm with this weirdo kiddo Hanan x kena marah dgn cikgu.Because Hanan ni Budak Baik.I miss you man!But

with Hanan we're talking about guys?haha..stupidd.No laa.Kita just ckp about ppl yg kita kenal,lol.Example like come on I told her

everything.I like this and that.Then Hanan ada scandal with my friends!haha.Come on she's pretty inside and outside.I mean guys okayy!Not girls.Shoottttahhh.She is so not into Lesbosssess.haha

haha. pardon her gedikness (ngeheh) but thats how Thiya rolls.

turns out, someone misses me. awww

for the past few weeks (or months cant recall), i've been out of reach from my old friends or we just rarely

see/bump into each other. yeah i miss them. a lot.

most of them moved. to other places, other classes, other friends...

i'm just there. sitting in between all of them. on the fence, both sides equal not one weighs more.

maybe you see me like i dont care anymore, youre wrong.

i hear news from you all the time. and if i dont ask, it doesnt mean that i dont care.

it doesnt mean that i dont know.

it doesnt mean that youre not important. because you are.

sometimes, i just dont have the guts to ask.

sometimes, i just dont want to interfere.

sometimes, i think i just dont deserve or have the right to.

i just want you, my dear friends, to know that i'm always there.

my body might not be beside you, to offer you a shoulder to cry on

but you should know, my spirit is always present. feeling what youre going through,

understanding your hardships and giving you support.

i'm sorry for my constant absence. i really wish that things would just go back to the way it used to be.

but we have to move on. and look towards the future.

its what us humans are made for. to test God's challenges and conquests. to put ourselves to test.

i know you miss me, well i miss you too.

if you feel a certain presence near you, that will be me,

loving you no matter where you are.

spreading love,

hanan syahmi

bloody year (literally)

2009-07-12T05:58:00.000-07:00

more bad news followed up MJ's death. my Uncle Masri's death.

it was-what 2 in the morning? - when my mom accidentally woke me up and announced his passing away two

hours before and that they were leaving for Seremban a.s.a.p.

i know i dont know you that well Uncle, but still you were one of my father's little brother.

Allah, tempatkanlah dia dengan orang-orang yang beriman. amin.

*****

I BEG OF YOU, PLEASE

STAY AWAY FROM ME.

i dont want any of you getting my virus. i dont really know if its infectious or not, but it might cause severe

damage to yourself or personal belongings.

please keep a safe 1 metre perimeter from - well, me.

no, ia bukan virus H1N1.

no, ia bukan salah satu drpd simtom-simtom penyakit itu.

i'm friggin JINXED.

jinxed is when you climb up the stairs and trip. in Giant. (the supermarket)

jinxed is when your dress weirdly and thought it was cool but other people thought that you got dressed by

a blind person.

jinxed is when you want to take a shower then you hang you panties on the railing where you thought it was

safe from being wet and then when you're not looking it fell and got drenched.

jinxed is when you eat your meals in a barbaric-like-mode and accidentally bit your tongue or lip.

sigh. no merchandise can help the uncoordinated. if such thing exists, its already purchased.

okay, i'm going to stop babbling about me being a klutz. moving on,

i was thinking on going to Australia end of this year. nak menyibuk kat tempat kakak :p

she suggested it. not my idea. but i found myself intrigued by the thought.

maybe it'll give me some inspiration. on what?

yeah, i'm planning on writing. not necessarily a book, just a story. maybe i'll do sequels :D

maybe not. i'm not sure. let the chips fall where they may.

I SHALL WRITE EVERY MALAYSIAN GIRLS' DREAM. muahahahahahaha! as if...

i might find inspiration over there. i might even find money. or... i shall find hot dudes 8D

nahh, Australia's already populated by asians.

like sepet asians. kalau dapat jumpa aboriginal people best gak. HAHAH.

satu pesan yang saya beri kepada kakak,

" nanti cari Hugh Jackman. tau. "

lepas tu dia reply,

" tak ah. nanti aku cari Curtis Stone! aku nak lepak kat supermarket selalu! take me home chef! "

uhh. dia reply lebih kurang macam tu la.

apa-apapun kakak, kat sini Hanan nak kata satu benda lagi,

KITORANG TENGOK HARRY POTTER NEXT SATURDAY. HAHAH! SUCK MY DUST!

shiny thing caught my eye

2009-07-10T08:39:00.000-07:00

hmm. recently ive noticed that some strangers are following my blog.

some things i couldnt comprehend

why they would want to follow it anyways
why they were here in the first place
how did they get here
why they would want to follow MY LAME BLOG?

this blog lacks creativity and distinctive craps anyways. hehe never the less, thank you la for sort of "admiring" it. ceh.

but seriously, my blog is such a waste of time. haha. thanks again, toodles.

pop king

2009-06-25T22:44:00.000-07:00

of course you know who this is right? well,

Michael Jackson is planning a 30-date world tour to kick off in 2009, a new report claims.

“Michael said he wasn’t doing a Vegas residency but was going on a world tour, taking in 30 cities next year,” a well-placed spy told Britain’s Sun on Wednesday.

“He said he wanted to do it for his kids. He wants them to see what he does, and he wants to take them on the road. He said he was on his way to Los Angeles to finalize the details.”

world tour! can you imagine? his tickets are bloody expensive but regardless of the price, they were all sold out.

i can just imagine him making explosive entrances, always some tricks up his sleeve. singing Thriller and see all fans dancing to his moves. shuffling his feet and do his famous "moonwalk".

that dream of mine (and my mom's) seeing him on stage......well.....sadly it'll never come true.

Singer Michael Jackson dies in Los Angeles aged 50

Michael Jackson, the singer, has died after suffering a suspected heart attack. He was 50.

The Los Angeles coroner, Fred Corral, said that Jackson was pronounced dead after arriving at UCLA Medical Centre in full cardiac arrest. A post mortem examination is likely to take place today.

Paramedics who responded to an emergency call to the singer's home in Los Angeles said that he had stopped breathing by the time they arrived.

Jackson's brother Jermaine told reporters: "My brother, the legendary King of Pop , passed away on Thursday June 25 at 2.26pm.

"We believe he suffered a cardiac arrest at his home, however the cause of his death is unknown until the results of the autopsy are known. The personal physician who was with him at the time attempted to resuscitated him."

A spokesman for the medical centre added: "When he arrived at hospital at approximately 1.14pm a team of doctors including emergency physicians and cardiologists attempted to resuscitate him for a period of more than one hour, they were unsuccessful."

A Los Angeles police spokesman said that police robbery-homicide detectives have been ordered to investigate, which is common in high-profile cases.

Jackson's mother Katherine and sister La Toya had rushed to the singer's bedside at the hospital, while hundreds of tearful fans gathered outside.

Earlier, the singer's father Joe said that he had been told his son was "in a bad way".

Jackson is widely credited with revolutionising pop music with albums including Thriller, Bad and Dangerous but his career was tainted with allegations of child abuse.

He was due to perform a highly anticipated 50-date "farewell" residency at the O2 Arena in Greenwich, south-east London, starting next month. Fears for his health emerged after he postponed the earliest dates, and his aides were forced to deny that he was fighting skin cancer.

Jackson lived as a virtual recluse following his 2005 acquittal on charges including child molestation and kidnap.

While lauded by fans and critics for his infectious pop songs, pioneering dance moves and innovative videos, his increasingly eccentric behaviour earned him the nickname "Wacko Jacko".

He repeatedly denied undergoing cosmetic surgery, despite very visible changes to his face and skin tone, and was criticised for forcing his three children to wear veils whenever they were in public.

Last night leading figures in the entertainment industry expressed their shock at news of his sudden death, which was broken on the US celebrity website TMZ.

Quincy Jones, the music producer who worked with Jackson on Thriller, said: "I am absolutely devastated at this tragic and unexpected news."

Paying tribute to the singer's "talent, grace, professionalism and dedication", he added: "I've lost my little brother today, and part of my soul has gone with him."

Jackson's friend, the illusionist Uri Geller, said there had been no indication that the singer was in a frail condition. "I really have no words. He was a young and terribly fit man and he was getting ready for performances in England. He was just fine, the last I heard."

There was speculation that the pressure of his upcoming London dates may have been too much for him. Jackson last toured 12 years ago.

AEG Live, which organised the O2 concerts, said Jackson had passed a lengthy physical exam in early 2009.

But Max Clifford, the publicist and friend of Jackson, said: "You wonder if the strain of getting fit for this major tour proved too much. In recent pictures he looked anything but healthy. He was always someone who seemed to find it difficult to cope with fame."

Born in 1958, Jackson made his musical debut with four of his older brothers in the Jackson Five before embarking on a solo career.

His 1982 album Thriller - which included the hits Beat It, Billie Jean and Thriller - is still the best-selling album of all time, with more than 26?million copies sold. His lifetime sales tally is estimated at 750?million.

In 1994, he married Lisa Marie Presley, the 26-year-old daughter of Elvis Presley. The couple separated two years later and Jackson later married Debbie Rowe, a 37-year-old nurse he met while undergoing plastic surgery in 1997. They had two children, Prince Michael and Paris Michael Katherine, before divorcing in 1999.

Jackson had custody of the two children and of a third, Prince Michael II, whose mother's name has never been made public.

fans gathered on the hospital lot

Mikaeel Jackson Abdullah

August 29, 1985 - June 25, 2009

innalillahiwainnahirajiun.

cuti dua minggu

2009-06-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

wondering what i did? apa lagi, OOOOOOOOOHH OOOOOOOOHH OHHHHHH! BALIK KAMPUUUUNG!
what happened? oh the usual...

camwhore dalam kete

tido dalam kete

buat muka bodoh

menikmati pemandangan

buat yoga di pagi hari

buat muka "am i seeing double?"

jumpa ju-on kat danga bay

buat lompatan "nike. just do it"

dan yang paling penting, tangkap gambar sini-sana. kan happy gitu.

haha. peace out.

te-ged by nabai (naby)

2009-06-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

yeh. my man knows me (man=kakak). after this quiz is over, you can compare my sister's answers and mine. hehe we're totally different okay!

5 names that friends call
~ hanan
~ prune
~ superfly
~ kilroy
~ alice (lol)

5 most important dates in your life
~ 12th May 1993
~ 12th May (there's a fine distinction between this one and the first okay!)
~ 7th May
~ 27th October
~ __ ____ _______ (puasa)

5 things you have done yesterday
~ went to vi
~ met Rye and my bro. like woah. (that rhymes)
~ ate
~ got home late
~ felt dandy ;D

5 ways to be happy
~ eat a lot and never gain weight :D
~ bully your friends :D
~ be annoyingly cute :D
~ have a good relationship with both ma and bah :D
~ get good grades :D (which is currently not happening for me D: )

5 gifts you would like to receive
~ good grades (wishing for the impossible, i know)
~ a walk-in closet
~ an empty room
~ an mph/times/kino bookstore
~ a pool full of cash

5 favourite hobbies
~ eating
~ sleeping
~ reading
~ goofing around
~ writing

5 places you want to go for vacation
~ Machu Picchu
~ Greece
~ Afrika
~ whole of Europe
~ ~~Forks, Washington~~ Makkah

5 favourite drinks
~ air kosong (yeah baby!)
~ tea
~ iced milo
~ white coffee
~ 7up?

5 things you always found in your room
~ ceiling
~ fan
~ window
~ bed
~ lamp

HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

5 favourite band
~ Coldplay :)
~ The White Stripes
~ 30 Seconds to Mars
~ The Strokes
~ The Cranberries

5 hangouts
~ home
~ my bed
~ my friends' houses
~ malls
~ school

5 favourite colours
~ yellow
~ pink
~ gray
~ brown
~ green

5 person you love so much
~ mama
~ babah
~ the sibs between me
~ my bestfriends
~ friends

i would list God. but highlight the word person in the question.

5 reasons you answer this survey
~ cause i thought that if i were to answer this survey, my answers would be totally different than kakak's
~ for the sake of posting something
~ to let them readers know that i still keep track of bloggy here
~ i tarzan you jane
~ sekarang pukul 1.01 doh

5 persons who you think will answer this survey
~ hana
~ jasper
~ the layas (lia and lya)
~ eera
~ tetot, mojo and batman

yes.

kutu buku

2009-05-30T10:44:00.001-07:00

hey freaks. been a loooooonnggggg time since i last blogged. i know, you all missed me? kan? kan? :D

so, Me, Fatin and Zkay started this hey-can-i-borrow-your-book-kinda-thing. it was small at first cause i liked to borrow Fatin's books and ask Zkay book-ish stuffs from the library (which is like her second crib). then some of our other classmates joined our club like Syasya, Anisah and Riza. soon before any of us knew what was happening, it became a book club. yes of course, i thought of it :p

hehe. some of the books i got to borrow and read were

and i am yet to read this one

my book Amazing Grace by Megan Shull is definitely a success in the crowd. hehe bangga :D

our little book club is regularly in motion everyday in class. and like any other book clubs, yes, we talk about the books we've read together and suggest any other good books that we own.

i know it sounds lame to some of you, but this book club is like a bonding thing you know. for me at least. were all different in so many ways but share the same passion for reading. and so i decided to name our book club.

hmm. 4T.

Top Book Club? nah

Testosterone Book Club?

Tantalizing Book Club?

TingTing Book Club?

Telophase Book Club?

after i weighed my options, i decided to call it something really simple. kinda cliche but what the heck.

thus, The Book Club was born.

girls, i want to try and read some Judi Picoult and Jane Austen books. LETS GO HUNTING.

tote fab

2009-05-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

Hello blog :D

Hello readers :D

Hello Mojo :D

btw this is Mojo

tadaaaa

and i had fun with Anisah :D

laterrrr